


Attempt 38: D&D (Dungeons and Denials)

by Blitzdrake



Category: Paranatural (Webcomic)
Genre: D&D, Friendship, Gen, Humor, M/M, Scheming, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-10
Updated: 2015-02-10
Packaged: 2018-03-11 10:47:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3324695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blitzdrake/pseuds/Blitzdrake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Join three heroes, Isaac the Paladin, Maximus the thieving Rogue, and Isabella the Barbarian Queen as they sacrifice their Sunday afternoon to defeat the Dungeon Master!</p><p>A lazy Sunday afternoon Fic, where Ed unleashes his most brilliant scheme yet, to convince two idiot friends they belong together, while Isabel watches, hits things and watches some more!  Hints of Imaax.</p><p>[Note the author does not endorse playing Dungeons and Dragons, to convince friends to confess undying love.  Dungeons and Dragons should only be played under responsible supervision, and never with a psychotic Dungeon Master with ulterior motives.  Please play Dungeons and Dragons responsibly.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Attempt 38: D&D (Dungeons and Denials)

All was well and carefree on this, otherworldly, magical Mayview, Sunday afternoon.  Sunlight streamed, birds sang as they flew.  Other things flew too— this was Mayview after all.  Schools of tri-colored, wing-fish cavorted in clouds as if they were waves, three-eyed beaver-tailed clouds dodged the frisky fish, a spider spirit riding a chariot driven by bumble-bees shook three angry fists at the clouds as it swerved past, and hundreds of other spirits drifted by, all relatively behaving, just this once.

 _Is it too much to ask for a rampaging poltergeist? Maybe a six headed pudding ghost with venomous claws threatening the school spirits? Or even a tiny disaster? Maybe a call from Spender about dire world ending threats?_ Isaacs thoughts bitterly lamented the idyllic peaceful day.

Sadly, the spirits outside the window showed no signs of rampage and the phone on the table refused to vibrate.  Not even a chime for an email, or a notice about an update on Facebook. Nothing was happening today.  No spirit assault, no Armageddon, not even mundane distractions like homework, or track practice, or chores, or school plays, or studying, or any of the other excuses that had come through to save him in the past.  There was nothing at all to do today…except…sneak into their old school, go to the Activity club room and…  _suffer a fate more unimaginable and horrific than could be devised by any sane man_.

“I can’t believe we agreed to this…” his co-sufferer spoke as softly as he could, to evade the notice of their captors.

Isaac glared at Max, remembering the reason for their predicament.

“ _WE_  didn’t agree to anything, you did.”

“Hey, you didn’t have to come along,” Max began with a frown.

“As if I’d leave you to this torture without backup!”

“My hero,” Max snorted, “But, I’m serious, I can totally handle this, you can get out while you still can.”

“No, I’m not letting you suffer alone, that’s not what … friends do.” As Isaac paused, for the hundredth time before saying friends, Max shot him yet another supportive look.   It’d been a long time since he, no,  _since they’d_  managed to convince Isaac he had real honest-to-goodness friends, but sometimes, it still seemed to surprise the red-head when he said it.  Noticing the awkward moment, Isaac quickly finished, “Still.  The point is, I SHOULD have left you to this.  It’s your fault after all.”

“What was I supposed to do?  I forgot it was his birthday!  The only thing I had on-hand was a box of Dad’s old junk. I just grabbed the first thing in it that had pictures of monsters on it and figured it was a picture book or art book or something.”  The response was significantly less whisper and more defensive whine.

“Instead you gave him the Advanced Dungeons & Dragons  _Monstrous Compendium_ (2nd edition) and now we all have to pay the price,” Isaac added a light elbow under the table, whispering completely abandoned, as he turned to direct a glare at Max.

“And that price is your…….SOUL,” Ed cut into the conversation, returning both teens’ attention to their tormenter, seated across the table behind a mountain of papers, books, and piles of various multi-sided dice.  A manic grin crossed Ed’s face, or well….what would be a manic grin on anyone else.  It was par for the course as far as Ed grins went.  Which meant only a few twitches on the right side as it pulled back into an off-center smirk and maybe six way-too-sharp teeth too many showing through.  Then he schooled even that into an eerily serious expression.  Eerie because it was on Ed, serious just didn’t belong on his face. “Or one game, at a time of my choosing, as long as you had nothing else to do.  That was the deal.”

“Is it too late to go with the soul option?" Max asked.

“No thanks,” Ed said, grin returning, “I’ve got enough of those.”

“Wait,” Isaac’s head jerked up at that, “wha-“

“So, did you prepare your characters?” Ed cut him off innocently.

“Yeah, I did what you said,” Max replied glumly, “I figured a fast, sneaky character would work.  You said we got like ten points so I put a few in Dexterous, or Dexterity, whatever you said would let me do the most sick moves.  The rest I put in….”

“MAX, STOP STOP STOP,” Ed shouted, holding his hands over his ears and squeezing his eyes shut.

“Sweet mercy, you’re killing him,” Isaac said, looking hopeful, “Keep it up.”

“NO,” Ed glared, pulling his hands off his ears, turning out to be, sadly, unharmed , “You can’t just TELL ME his stats, INTRODUCE him!  Do it right, please?”

“Seriously?!” Max’s shocked expression melted into an awkward blush, when Ed nodded, “Fine, then I, am, Maximus Insol’ de Childe, master rogue.”

Isaac’s snort cut through the introduction.  “A thief?!  Seriously.”

“No.  Rogue! Ed said it was the best character for me if I wanted to run up walls and bounce off balconies and jump over carts with sick flips and twists.  I totally maximized this dude.  He’s got like mad parkour skills.”

“Max, tell me you’re not getting into this.” Isaac tried not to smile at the excited tone of his best friend, in the loosest sense.  This was torture after all, best not to show his captors weakness, but the blush creeping up Max’s neck was almost … ALMOST adore-… making this entire nightmare worth it.

“Well, of course, I’m not!  But…if I have to do it…. at least my dude’s gotta be cool.  What did you pick anyway?  A goodie-goodie?”  Isaac’s grin vanished.

“You did, didn’t you!  You picked a…..ED” Max turned, and their psychotic blond DM glared at them both for the interruption, but at least gave Max his attention, “What’s the most annoying, holier-than-thou, character you can play?”

Ed’s grin mutated into something a bit sadistic.  “Paladin, they’re the absolute, MOST, law-abiding, justice-serving, good guy you can play.”

The groan from Isaac was louder than the last one as Max was given the upper hand.

“HA!  You picked paladin, didn’t you?”

“I…” Isaac shifted in his seat,  “maybe,” a hand shot out to cover Max’s mouth so he could finish speaking over the triumphant shout the rogue was in the midst of unleashing, “but it’s not my fault.  I just picked what Ed suggested.  His said it was the best fit!”

“I  _may_  have suggested something along those lines,” Ed interjected, “But…only after you…”

“Enough ED!”

“Only…. _after_ ….” Isaac gave up covering Max’s mouth as he tried to lunge across the table and silence the blond, who merely leaned back in his chair finishing in a rush, “onlyafteryouaskedifyoucouldbeaheroicknight.”

“A…wait what was that.  A knight?…A Knight?!” Max clutched his stomach, while Isaac’s head descended to the table.  “Did you want to rescue any princesses while we are at it?”  Ed and Isabel shared a loaded glance at that, but Max missed it entirely as he started shaking with humor.  “Wha…what…did you call your character?” Max managed to squeeze the question out mid-laugh.

“ _SrIscthRd_ ,” was all the other spectrals could make out of Isaac’s answer, his head still planted on the table.

“Yo, try again, and maybe this time, don’t just share with the table, we all want to know,” Max poked his best friend in the side repeatedly until at last Isaac sat up, a stormy expression on his face.  Which with Isaac was a literal thing.  Reflections of actual black clouds were building up behind his eyes.

“I said, Sir Isaac the Red,” Isaac tried to answer as calmly as he could.  A fresh round of laughter from Max caused Isaac’s face to match his name and he quickly closed his eyes with that long tired look of trying to master himself, before turning to the one person at the table who thus far hadn’t said anything, in a desperate gambit to shift focus.  “What about you?”

Isabel sat as straight and tall as she could, a grin as eager as Ed’s, as she flexed both arms, red spectral muscles forming over the very real ones, “I am Isabella, the Barbarian Queen, a Warrior/Berserker/Fighter who knows no equ-“

“Wait, wait, wait.  Warrior, Berserker, and Fighter?” Max cut in. “I read the rules.” Isaac shot him a horrified stare, and Max amended weakly,“ well, not all of them, but I wanted to get my character right, dude.  Anyway…can she even be three things?  And why those three?  They’re practically the same thing!”

“Well….” Ed adopted a thoughtful pose, one hand on his chin, “I guess I could check the rules…and…it says…” He didn’t even bother looking down at the book in his hands, just turned and grinned at Isabel, “It says the DM can OK whatever class combination he wants, so its fine.  Anyone who wants to disagree with Isabella’s class can take it up with her, but they have to solve it in traditional barbarian fashion.”

“Yeah!” Isabel dropped one arm eagerly onto the table towards Max, with a thud that nearly knocked Isaac, stuck between them, backwards off his chair. “Arm wrestling!”  Her spectral outline of a arm doubled in size and Isaac edged back in his seat as the spirit muscle flexed.

“Challenge withdrawn.” Max looked vaguely uneasy as he hunched back from the towering spirit energy arm.  

Beside him, Isaac cautiously poked a blue glowing finger at the bulging red-spirit-energy bicep, and it quickly deflated into nothingness as Isabel pulled her arm back, crossing it with her other arm over her chest and leaning back into her seat triumphantly.

“Then, if there are no other questions, comments, or concerns…” Ed began, before Isaac raised a hand, his mouth open.“…and no complaints either…” Isaac closed his mouth drawing his hands across his chest as well and glowering.  “Then I introduce you three heroes to… the Dungeon of Mad Spender, the Necromancer!”

Only Isabel joined Ed in grinning, while the other two shared a single sorrowful look, before buckling down.

*             *             *             *             *

“HA, is that the best you got?” Isabella laughed as she beat her fists against the head of the twelve foot ogre that held her about the waist trying to crush her in a fearsome bear hug.  “I’ve had Halflings hug harder than this!  You sure you and your brother aren’t just goblins on stilts?”

“Can we maybe, not taunt the angry ogres, ‘O fearsome barbarian queen,” Sir Isaac replied, as his shield rang like a bell from yet another strike by the massive club of a second towering brute.  “Or at least wait till we’re winning?”

“But we ARE winning, nothing can defeat Isabella,” she stopped punching, leaning backward and howling in triumph as she swung her face forward in a swift head-butt.  Both she and the ogre reeled backwards, and the howl of triumph wavered into a nasal moan, as blood dripped her nose.  She shook her head, glaring at the double images of the ogre, who at least had the decency to also look slightly dazed, but still held on to her tightly. “Ow…. What the hell is this thing’s head made of?  Rocks?”

 _I SAID it was a Stone OGRE,_  a disembodied voice scolded from the empty dungeon hallway behind them.

“That’d probably be why they’re called, Stone-Ogres, don’t you think?” Isaac responded glibly, ignoring the disembodied voice.  After a particularly rapid set of blows against his shield left the ogre fighting him winded, Isaac steeled his nerve and shifted his shield aside, to bring his sword high with his other hand.” And that’s why a real hero uses his head, but I mean…like not as a weapon, but to think, and stuff….Whatever, anyway, I stab at it!”

 _That’s not how you do it Isaac!  We talked about this you can’t just SAY you do it,_ the voice in the empty dungeon chastised the knight.

With a grimace of distaste Sir Isaac, amended, “Taste the steel bite of my blade Justice, foul creature,” before slicing his sword sideways in a mighty swing, certain to rend flesh.

 _Ooops bad roll._ Malicious joy tinged the voice in the halls.

The sword bounced off the knee of the Ogre with a ringing twang, rebounding so forcibly that it swung Sir Isaac himself around and he stumbled to his knees, leaving his back exposed to the unwounded Ogre he’d been dueling.  The shadow of the beast fell over him and he heard the rush of wind as it raised its enormous mace behind him. “Crud.”

“Dude….seriously,” a black hooded shadow chastised the fallen knight as it moved in a fast running blur up a nearby wall, grabbing onto a rusted iron holder, to seize the torch held within.  “You were just telling Isabella that it was a Stone Ogre, did you think you could just cut it with a sword?” The black cloak twisted about the shadowed figure, billowing as the third hero somersaulted off the wall, landing on the shoulders of the ogre that menaced the fallen knight.  Maximus wrapped his cloak around the brute’s eyes, before pressing his torch against the square of its back.  With a howl of pain and rage, the ogre dropped the mace and swiped both fists at its head to dislodge the pesky menace, but the rogue evaded each swipe with quick nimble leaps.  The beast shook itself violently, attempting to dislodge the rogue, who kept from falling, laughing mockingly as he continued to dance from shoulder to shoulder, all the while keeping the torch and cloak in place.

Maddened, the Ogre lowered its head and roared, charging forward.  A muffled curse escaped Sir Isaac as he scrambled into an awkward, armored roll, to get out from under the stampeding feet of the blinded beast, ending up trapped like a turtle on his back in heavy armor, but at least out of the path of the brute.  It built up massive speed in the ten strides it managed to get in, before losing all of that momentum in a head-on collision with the wall of the dungeon.  An echoing crash sounded out, followed by many tiny cricks and snaps, as cracks spread up the stone wall towards the ceiling.  The Ogre stumbled unsteadily on its feet a few times before an agonized moan signaled its knees giving out and it fell backwards to the ground.  At the last minute, a wildly grinning Maximus leapt free, somersaulting along the ground until he landed on his back, laid out next to the still awkwardly-stuck paladin.

Maximus grinned cheekily, as he stretched his arms behind his head and turned to face the downed knight beside him, “See…I call that move, Rock…and Roll.”

Sir Isaac glared at his friend before his vision was arrested by the wall behind the rogue.  The cracks from the Ogre collision were still spreading in all directions.  Most alarming though, some cracks were growing upward and, as Isaac traced the path of the damage with his eyes, he could see them spreading to the ceiling directly above him and the still gloating rogue.  

“Uh…Maximus…”

“No wait…wait…I had a better one…Looks like I just  _rocked_  his world….”

“Seriously, Maximus,” Isaac’s eyes took on a panicked look as small pebbles and dust fell down about the oblivious rogue.

“No….I can get this…how about, I just lit him up, and now he’s Stone-HEY WHAT THE,” Maximus was roughly jerked off his back and rolled towards his companion, as Isaac tugged as hard as he could at the rogue with one arm and swung his shield over both their heads with his other.  A second loud crash sounded as the shield lowered alarmingly under the weight of a fallen rock.  Max and Isaac huddled under the shield for a few seconds, listening for the plink of more small stones dropping, before realizing how close their faces were in the tiny space under the shield.  Twin blushes were just visible through the dust, before they both rolled away from each other.  Maximus leapt to his feet lightly, brushing dust off his black-dyed leather armor and avoiding eye contact with the knight who finally managed to lift himself off the ground, occupying his own heated gaze with a search for his sword.

“So..uh…thanks…Sir Isaac,” Maximums muttered.

“Don’t mention it.  Like totally, seriously, never mention it, ever.”  Isaac said absently, trying to sound casual as he at last spotted his blade and grabbed for it.  “Oh great…that stupid ogre put a notch in Justice,” Isaac moaned a he saw the nick in his trusty blade.

Maximus snorted, before a blur flew past him, followed by more groans as Isabella crashed into the wall between them.

Both of them stared at her wincing as she picked herself off the floor, shaking her head a few times and then glared past the boys at the still standing Ogre.

“You’re gonna regret that, ugly.  You’ve made me angry, you won’t like me when I’m angry.”

“He didn’t really like you before,” Sir Isaac said, while at the same time Maximus grinned, while cheekily observing, “Then no one would ever like you.”

Ignoring both of them, Isabella charged forward howling.  With a roar the stone ogre charged as well, before the two of them met in a thunderous collision, a cloud of dust billowing out from the impact point to obscure the view of the other two heroes.  More small stones rained down, as the sound of the impact shook the already damaged dungeon.  Maximus took one nervous look upward before inching back towards the paladin. And for his part Sir Isaac grudgingly raised the shield over both their heads while drawing the rogue close with his free gauntleted arm.  

“Just to be safe,” Maximus muttered.

“Can’t be too careful,” Isaac agreed, both of them looking away again.

When the dust finally settled and the stones stopped falling from the ceiling, they could make out the still form of Isabella’s ogre, laid out on the ground, with a tired Isabella catching her breath from her perch on its back.  She held up one fist, already looking a bit purple and swollen, and gave them a dazed grin before gasping out.  “Good ol’ rock.  Nothing beats rock.”

“Except paper,” Maximus replied, before realizing what he’d said with a wince. He quickly dodged to the side, a thrown stone just missing him.  Isabella picked up a few more stones and advanced menacingly.  Maximus jumped behind Isaac, pushing the paladin to the fore. “Come on hero, save me from the Berserker/Warrior/Fighter Queen?!”

“Why me?!  You know you aren’t supposed to say aper-pay, in front of her.  It reminds her of uh….damn it, how do you say eightfold in Pig Latin?” A stone clipped Isaac’s shoulder and he turned back to Isabel, “Hey!  I didn’t star-“  Isaac didn’t get anything else out before instinct took over and he managed to raise his shield just in time to deflect a steady barrage of stones.

As Isaac shouted over his shield calling for truce and Isabella grumbled loudly as she pelted him with stones, Maximus slinked away with a Cheshire grin, having remembered the whole reason they’d started this fight in the first place.

“Hello, my beauty,” he whispered to himself as he snuck up to the treasure chest the beasts had been guarding. With a whistle, he whipped out a lock pick and went to work.

He’d just flipped the last tumbler and reached for the lid, when he realized there was silence behind him and he turned just in time to see the disapproving glares of his compatriots standing right behind him.

“Oh hey guys.” Maximus smiled sweetly.  “Was just getting it unlocked for us.”

 “Sure you were….thief,” Isabella grunted.

“It’s  _rogue_ ,” Maximus replied haughtily, “and technically I get half the treasure, I took out the first one.”

“And I took out the other, so half of what’s in there is mine,” Isabella reminded him, before reaching past him for the lid.

“Did you at least check for traps first?” Isaac cautioned, looking warily at the chest.

Isabella’s hand jumped back quickly and Maximus winced before smiling convincingly and saying, “OF COURSE I did, do you think I’m stupid?”

“Honest answer?” Isaac began.

“Shut it.  It’s totally fine,” Maximus grumbled as he turned his back to them and frantically inspected the chest with his eyes.  He slowly stretched out a nervous hand, before lifting the lid in a quick rush and leaping behind the paladin all in one quick motion.  

They all stood silently a moment, waiting with breaths held.

Maximus exhaled first, loudly, before shakily saying, “See…I told you, no problems.”

He quickly rushed forward from his hiding place, looking inside and grinning.

“Oh awesome!  A dagger!  I call dibs,” Maximus shouted reaching towards a midnight-black blade.  An armored fist grabbed his hand first, stopping it short as the worried Sir Isaac stared suspicously at the contents of the chest.

“Are you sure it’s safe?”

“Dude, it’s totally….wait…” He squinted closely at it a second time.

 _You rolled a 17, Maximus._ The disembodied dungeon voice spoke _._

“Yeah it’s totally safe, I ‘detected’ traps. Nothing there.”

“Fine.” Isaac released Maximus’s hand, all at once awkwardly aware he’d even been holding it, and Maximus happily snatched the dagger, stepping away from the chest to inspect it.

“Hey Isaac, there’s armor in here too, a whole suit of it,” Isabella called out from half inside the chest as she leaned over one side and rooted around inside.

 Isaac’s ears twitched and he turned from watching the rogue, back to the chest to look inside.  His curious look faded to a frown as he stared at a dark, metal suit of armor covered in menacing spikes.  

“I don’t know…its kinda…Black Knight-ish,” he replied.

“Oh come on, you’re already a paladin.  You don’t have to literally dress up like Lancelot too,” Isabella scoffed.

“It just doesn’t seem very…Justicey,” Sir Isaac frowned as he lifted up the helm.  A creepy, close faced metal grill obscured what would be the eye slits and two large horns jutted out of the top, “what do you think Maximus?  …Maximus?  …Max?!?”

Isaac and Isabella turned away from the chest to look at the rogue, who was staring dully down at the dagger in his hands.  

Isaac quickly dropped the helm and rushed over to Maximus, knocking the dagger out of his hands with a quick slap and grabbing the rogue by the shoulders to shake him.

“Maximus!  Maximus! Damn it, what’s going on?!”  He turned to the darkest part of the dungeon and glared, “The dagger was supposed to be safe, you said there were no traps.”

 _Arcane Trap triggered_ , a gleeful voice chuckled from the darkness of the dungeon.

“Oh come on?!  ARCANE trap? We don’t even have a mage in the party! How is that even fair?” Sir Isaac began before a loud thump turned his attention back to the his other companion, Isabella, who sat on the floor, wincing from her fall back from the chest, before scooting back from the chest.

Pieces of the black armor suit floated out of the chest, orbiting about each other. Red bands of light swirled about the empty open ends of the helm, gloves, boots, arm, and leg coverings. Blue bands of light spun in an opposite direction around the matching holes in the main suite of armor.  For a moment all of the pieces just orbited each other in a jumble, like a creepy baby knights mobile.  Then Maximus groaned weakly from behind them, and with a shudder the pieces stopped their aimless floating and began to assemble. Red and blue swirling light openings faced each other, before, with an audible click, the suit of armor snapped together into a hollow, menacing, metal shell.  The armored head spun around slowly in continuous circles like a demonic lighthouse, red and blue lights shining from the eye sockets, as it inspected its surroundings.

“Well that’s disconcerting,” Isaac said.

A loud creak sounded from the otherwise empty helm as it spun back around to stare right at Isaac before turning just to the side to stare at Maximus.

“Uh…I think the dagger woke that thing up, Sir Isaac,” Isabel leapt to her feet and sidestepped lightly in the direction of Isaac so they could face the armor together.  Isaac nodded agreement as he kept his own eyes on the menacing figure and gently pushed the still catatonic Maximus behind him.

“Yeah, and I can’t get Maximus to wake up, so I guess whatever its doing to the suit, it’s using Maximus to do it,” Isaac replied, an edge of anger creeping into his voice as he pulled his shield up.

“Well, can’t you heal Maximus?  You’re a Paladin.”

“I can’t heal him…I don’t think.  Wait…can I? Did I learn any Heals?  What’s the skill called?” He looked off at the darkest part of the dungeon.

 _Lay on Hands, dude…didn’t you even read the Paladin guide?_  A peeved voice answered from the depths of the dungeon.

“Fine, I Lay Hands on….Ma…..wait…WHAT?!  No I’m not doing that!”  Isaac flushed several shades of red.

“But how else will we save Maximus?” Isabella said in a conniving whine.

“We’ll just beat this thing up?  I AM NOT going to Lay Hands on Max,” Isaac glared at her, the darkness in the dungeon, and the ominous suit of enchanted armor.  He looked at just about everything except the entranced rogue behind him while trying to conquer the awkwardness in his voice.

 _Are you suuuuuuuuuuuure?_  The ghostly voice in the dungeon asked, and the suit of amour took a ponderous step towards them, a long mace shaped oddly enough like a giant metal bat floating out of the chest and into its grip.

 _Dude, you’re gonna let me die?!_ The disembodied voice of Maximus grumbled off to the side.

“No, I’m not going to let anything happen to you! …  _anything_ ,” Sir Isaac said.

“Ugh, fine, I’ll save us……AGAIN,” Isabella replied, before charging the armor, fists at the ready.

Her punch knocked the armored helm clean off and a blue light spun about the empty neck portion of the armor, as the monster stopped moving, its head sailing away into the dungeon.

“Woohoo,” Isabel began, doing a victory spin, before noticing Isaac, mouth still agape and looking behind her.  She turned to see the helm slowing down, mid-flight and then coming to a stop above the floor hovering with a red glow.  It turned about and flew even faster than it had been thrown, back towards the armor, coming to a stop again above the neck hole.  Again the red and blue lights swirled in opposite directions, as another loud snap announced the reattachment.

“That… is usually more effective…” Isabella replied, chagrined as she backed up.

“Any other ideas?” Isaac grumbled as the armor took another slow step.

“I’m a Berserker/Warrior/Fighter.  I pretty much just have the one idea!  I put all of my points into Strength,” Isabella replied with the first hint of nervousness.

“All your points in strength?  You didn’t even diversify?” Isaac asked, shocked in spite of himself?

“Well, Ed made me put a point in Charisma,” she muttered, “Which was stupid.”

 _It’s not stupid Is-face. You have to be well-rounded.  You can’t solve all your problems by punching_.  The dark foreboding dungeon voice scolded petulantly.

“Well what good is Charisma?  I can’t charm a hollow suit of armor….” Isabella trailed off after that thought, a look of at first inspiration, then devilish amusement appearing.

“I don’t think I like that look,” Isaac responded.

“Can I charm Maximus?” Isabella asked the empty darkness?  “Maybe knock him out of his trance?”

 _Technically it’d be Seduce, if you’re using it on him.._.  The voice replied.

 _Wait….what?!?_ a disembodied Maxwell voice joined in.

“NO!  NO! NO! You can’t do that!” Sir Isaac’s face contorted into the oddest combination of horror and outrage as he changed his position, moving to stand protectively between Isabella and Maximus, the advancing armor forgotten.

“I wasn’t asking you, Mr. Too-Chicken-to-Lay-Hands.” Isabella stuck her tongue out at him. “Well, can I?”

 _It’s a mental trance, but he can still hear.   So…..Sure…why not_  the disembodied voice snickered from the darkness.

“No, Just….no!  No one is seducing Maximus,” Sir Isaac glowered, pulling his dented and nicked sword of Justice in between himself and Isabella.

The menacing armor stopped mid-advance and froze…confused by the sudden lack of attention.  Its head swiveled between the two arguing adventurers, back and forth as if watching a tennis match.

“Well I say I can, unless you want to.  You probably have more Charisma points than I do,” Isabel’s voiced turned into a mocking imitation of Isaac, “Cause it’s sooooooooo important to put points in everything to be balanced.” Isabella dropped her warrior pose, crossing her arms in irritation.

Sir Isaac the Red lived up to his name at that point, but the blush was more embarrassment than anger.

“I can’t seduce Maximus?  He’s…He’s…my…best friend.”

 _Do I get a say in this?_ The disembodied voice of Maximus echoed through the dungeon hall.

 _No! You’re in a trance…now shut up and let them fight over you._ The dungeon’s voice cackled.

“Well either you do it, or I will!”

Sir Isaac looked at his catatonic friend, then back at Isabella, his sword point dropping and his shield lowering as he just kept muttering…”No….no….no.”

“Fine then,” Isabella said, stepping towards the two of them.  

“Don’t come any closer to him,” Isaac said, holding one hand up in her direction, “I don’t want us to lose, just…” he turned to face the rogue, “I…uh….I….at-attempt to…..”

 _Isaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaac,_  the dungeon voice grumbled,  _we talked about this.  You got to do things right_.

“Seriously?” Isaac looked more nervous and awkward than before as he stared at the dark spot of the dungeon.  When no response came, just a feeling of anticipation, he cursed under his breath, and removed first his armored gauntlets, then his helm.  One hand ran awkwardly through suddenly very sweaty, yet amazingly still spiky hair, and he stared at the floor before screwing up his courage and placing one hand on the still frozen Rogues cheek.

Behind his back Isabella grinned evilly, turning and winking to the enchanted armor monster.  One side of the glowing blue and red eyes within the hollow helm winked back.

Isaac coughed awkwardly, oblivious to the interplay as his eyes were still locked on his own feet.  Finally, with a shudder, he lifted his gaze up to the dazed rogue, and forced his face into an awkward smile, “I um…I uh…so you are..”

_The sound of a bouncing die echoed throughout the cavern, the sound clattering through empty halls.  Once, Twice,-_

*             *             *             *             *

Thrice…just as the die slowed down, Isaac jumped up from the table, his face suffused with crimson.  He swatted the die off the table before anyone could see he number it settled on.  

“You can’t do that,” Ed whined.

“I’m done,” Isaac shouted, “Thisgame’sgoneonwaytoolong!”  He stopped a second catching his breath before continuing, “I mean, tomorrow’s a school day, it’s getting too dark to see in here, and we can’t turn on the lights since we broke into the school, and someone could come by anytime.  Plus we played your adventure for hours, and we beat the goblins, and the stone ogres, and that army of Spender-skeletons, collected tons of Starchman Star Coins, and I’m pretty sure its dinner time, and I think it’s getting late, and we have to go?  Right, Max? Right?!?”  

Max stared at the far wall where the die had fallen behind a table, a considering look on his face, before he realized he was being spoken to.

“Huh, what?  I mean yeah…I guess it is late….and it did kinda get weird there,” a pained look crossed Isaac’s face, and Max quickly backpedaled, a hand reaching to pat Isaac’s shoulder soothingly before being snatched back as if he’d touched a hot pan, “No, you were doing fine.  I meant, it was weird that I didn’t get to do any anything at the end.” Max finished hastily, snapping out of the game zone and catching up to the undertones he’d missed up to this point.  

Both boys locked eyes for a second, before looking away just as quickly, turning into twin flurries of motion as they gathered all their things in a rush.

Ed groaned in exasperation and Isabel looked at the two of them with a cross of affection and irritation, before shooting Ed a sympathetic smile.

“So…uh….We’re gonna head home now,” Isaac said, ignoring the looks and sound from the still seated spectrals, as best he could, “Uh, I mean I’m going to my home, and Max is going to his home.  We’ll see you guys tomorrow.”  He headed towards the door, studiously avoiding any eye contact in his hasty retreat.

“Yeah, uh, see you at school,” Max echoed Isaac’s sentiments and nervousness as he left the room.  

All was quiet between Ed and Isabel as they listened to the thumping echoes of two pairs of feet rushing down school hallway towards the stairs.

Isabel turned to Ed, who sighed heavily as he started gathering papers.  

“Well…….sorry, Ed…I know how much time you put into this.”

“I know,” Ed whined, “But it’s not really that.  They just…” he smacked his forehead, “They don’t even appreciate…it’s so frust-….Dang it Is, we were SO CLOSE!  I was sure I’d get ONE of them too…you know,” Ed trailed off there.

“It was a really good plan, they were totally on the verge for a while there,” Isabel said, stepping around the table to give him a comforting hug.

“So ends…what…attempt 38?” Ed said shaking his head glumly.  “Man…I really thought I was gonna win.”

“So did I,” Isabel reassured him.  “I think it might have been the best try yet.”

“Really?  The best?” Ed said.  A grin crossed his face before he returned her hug tightly and buried his head in her shoulder.  Then her words clicked and he stepped back looking up at her with hopeful eyes “Do you mean…maybe…you think…it was even better than the Candyland one?”

“I don’t know,” Isabel pretended to think a second, “Max was like seconds away from spilling his whole heart out that time….” Then her grin flashed again, as she winked at him.  “Just kidding. You almost got ISAAC to admit something and we both agreed that’s worth way more points than Max anyway.  This was the best.  Even better than Candyland.”

With that both of them started laughing again, exasperation at last fading.

“So….” Ed said turning to Isabel with a wink, “Guess it’s your turn again!”

 

Fin

 

**Author's Note:**

> So, quick heads up. Sassyartfarts and Hearthsdaughter over on tumblr were how I learned this pairing wasn't just an insane thought in my head. Oh and Fyeah parantural for hosting their work! Plus all the other awesome writers on ff.net, here, and tumblr that all post their stories and art, and keep us all believing in the awesomeness that is Imaax/maxaac! ^_^
> 
> Shout out to Paranick (whose written an awesome story in this archive, look down the list for Tale of Two Mayview...then stop wasting time reading the title and start reading the story...like now, go, go, these notes will be here when you are done) gets some credit for his awesome Isabelle scene that inspired this in part, since I saw her try, and fail to get Imax to happen and I figured....oh I know Isabelle and Ed...they wont stop at one attempt...they'd keep on trying, and trying.
> 
> And of course that one episode of Community on D&D totally was on rerun while I wrote this, and some blame goes to this mental image I have of Isaac dressed as a white knight, (that scene in the comic where he's kneeling before the happy deer spirits talking about the seven scepters of salutation just made me think knight) and Max all bouncing off walls like the assassin Creed hero.
> 
> And last but most definitely most important, Zack for making Paranatural to begin with.


End file.
